Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
