I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
