her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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