these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
