I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
