thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
