I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
