Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
