its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
