So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
