so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
