Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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