i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
