Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
