Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
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