To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
