You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
