it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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