Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
