You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
