I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
