Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Let's get the cat blown out
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
