I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
