The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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