so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
