You just made me feel so damn special
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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