Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
