You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
