Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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