Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
