EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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