i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
