Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
