I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
