Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize