You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
