ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
