The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
