i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
