I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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