i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
