Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
