love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I puked a lego.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
