somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
