My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
