And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
