Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
