She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Acid is not a monday night drug
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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