If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
