i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize