I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize