let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
