I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
