is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
