hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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