I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize