I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
