Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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