I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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