He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Too much gin, very little bucket
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
