I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
