You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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