She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
