Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
