I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize