she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
